My mom sends me the best email funnies and since I lack much knitting progress today I thought I could share a laugh or two.

I’d really like to get my hands on a few of these!

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN:

DAMNITOL- Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN- Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out!

ST. MOMMA’S WORT- Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO- Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL- When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR- Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN- Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, “You make me want to be a better person. ”

BUYAGRA- Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN- Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT- A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT- When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.

And last but not least a letter meme. God only knows where I found this one, but if you see it and you wanna’ do it, consider yourself tagged.

Rules: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following…They MUST be real places, names, things…NOTHING made up! If you can’t think of anything, skip it. Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN’T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

Your Name: J********

1. Actor: Joaquin Phoenix (yummy)

2. 4 letter word: Just

3. Street name: Jackson Avenue

4. Color: Jade

5. Gift/present: Jewelry

6. Vehicle: Jeep

7. Tropical Location: Jamaica

8. College Major: Journalism

9. Dairy Product: Jarlsberg cheese

10. Thing in a Souvenir Shop: Jacket

11. Boy Name: Jack

12. Girl Name: Julia

13. Movie Title: John Tucker Must Die

14. Beer: Joseph Spelt Ale

15. Occupation: Justice of the Peace

16. Flower: Jonquil

17. Celebrity: Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

18. Magazine: Jet

19. U.S. City: Jacksonville, NC